Ray was here

For Matt

2009-01-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

So Matt told me I that I should put something on my blog so that he had something to read. But I don't have anything interesting otherwise I might have actually kept posting way back when I actually used to use this blog. So here is something for Matt to read, but I didn't promise it would be interesting.

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

Have fun Matt. Also being the internet geek you are no doubt you've already found this anyway. But that's what you get for telling me to post something on my blog.

My yearbook photos

2008-08-18T02:52:00.000-07:00

1952

1960

1972

1978

1992

Fortune cookie

2007-06-29T04:40:00.001-07:00

Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!

Let it rain :)

2007-06-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

This morning when I got up for work at 5am. Then I looked out the window to find it was raining heavily and I had to bike to work. So it didn't seem like a good start to the day.
But by the time I got a third of the way to work I realised that I was actually enjoying biking in the rain. Ok so it was cold, and by the time I got to work I looked and felt a bit like a drowned rat as I dripped my way to reception to get the keys to unlock.
But generally being in the rain for a short period of time, so long as I have somewhere warm and dry to go afterwards, and have dry clothes to change into when I get there is quite invigorating and enjoyable. I like the feeling of drips on my face.
I used to love playing in the rain when I was little until my mum stopped me. And it makes me wonder how many of the things that society teaches us are bad can actually be good if we let them.
So i'm going to try and rediscover some of these things. I don't have any specific ideas in mind, just things that give us those precious moments that so often get lost in the busyness and repetitiveness of day to day life. Feel free to join me if you want :)

Things I am looking forward to in the holidays :)

2007-05-29T05:07:00.000-07:00

1) Sleeping in

2) Having a social life

3) Going away and seeing lots of people that I don't get to see very often

4) Reading something not related to my course

5) Not working on essays and other assignments every single day

6) Thinking through things that I have not had time to think about this term because I've been too busy

7) Relaxing

8) Actually having weekends

The joy of having five weeks off from uni :)
Some weeks doing a full-time masters course and working fifteen-ish hours a week seems like too much. This term has been full of weeks like that.
1 1/2 weeks to go!

Morning Ray is here

2007-05-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ray wakes up to her alarm clock going off swots her arms around her head to get the noice out of her head and fully wakes up when she accidentally hits the wall because Morning Ray's motor control does not function. Ray groans, opens her eyes, and switches off her alarm.
Ray stumbles out off bed and heads for the bathroom almost walking into her flatmate on the way. She mumbles what is supposed to be 'morning' but probably sounds more like a grunt.
Ray drags herself into the shower - burning herself when she turns the water on too hot - then proceeds to wash. Enough details about that.
Ray drags herself out of the bathroom and back to her room where she spends long periods of time "getting dressed" which involves staring at clothes for a long period of time trying to decide what to wear, and then putting in the effort to actually actually pick it up and put it on. Ray also generally puts on at least one item of clothing backwards or inside out and has to change it which makes the dressing process even longer.
Ray goes to get some breakfast. Then sits on the couch staring vacantly at the wall occassionally taking another mouthful. If she has a hot drink it will still be 3/4 full by the time it gets cold. Ray will force herself to drink another 1/4 of the cup not wanting to waste it and then finish breakfast about 3/4 hr after starting it. Flatmates look at Ray during this time and either laugh or decide that it's not worth talking to her. Apart from the occassions where they try to get Ray to say stupid things. The challenge is drawing out intelligible sentences. Of course the whole breakfast stage often gets missed because Ray is almost always running late for class or whatever else she has to do that morning.
Ray eventually snaps out of being morning Ray about 1-1 1/2 hours after waking up. No-one know what triggers the change.

I'm not a morning person... can anyone tell? Also I am supposed to be writing essays...

Argggghhh! I am traumatised for life!

2007-02-04T02:15:00.000-08:00

Imagine looking through your photos to find this in the background. How can someone wear those???

Counting down...

2007-02-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

* Seven days to go until i get a day off work. Possibly even more than one. But I'm not crossing my fingers on that one seem as my boss doesn't even realise that she rostered me on for 11 days in a row...

* 10 days until the lease on my flat ends. Hmmmm... really should be getting onto the whole finding a flat thing.

* 21 days until the last possible day that I may have to get up at five in the morning for work. I'm so looking forward to not getting up at such a ridiculous time day after day after day. I don't understand morning people... but I have learnt how to smile, be friendly, and at least appear awake at a time when every sane person should be asleep or at the very least just waking up.

* 22 days to go until I go back to uni. It's exciting and sacry all at the same time. I can't believe I'm doing masters. But it's another step closer to working in the sort of job I would like.

* 325 days until christmas. Not that I'm actually counting down until christmas - just felt like adding it at the end :)

I like the muppets!

2007-01-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-23T21:41:00.000-08:00

It is christmas eve. And I am pondering about the many people for who christmas is not a time of celebration but a time of pain. So here's a prayer for those people this christmas:

For the hungry
Give them food from the tables of those with abundance
That they may celebrate and enjoy time together

For the poor
Give them the wisdom to spend their limited funds wisely
And the ability to make Christmas a special time for themselves and those around them

For the sick
Give them relief from the pain
And time to spend with their loved ones

For the stressed
Give them welcome relaxation and rest
Along with a thankfulness for what they do have

For those who are grieving
Give them peace from the inner turmoil
And hope that their world will once again be filled with happiness

For those feeling unloved or alone
Give them a place they feel wanted and people to love them

God, give all the people in this world of diversity peace, love, hope, and joy - whereever they are and whatever they are doing

And last of all, help those of us with such abundance of these things
to remember those less fortunate - and to do what we can to make their christmas time better

Amen

Warning: it's Silly o'clock

2006-10-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well it's two o'clock in the morning and I'm winding down from work before going to bed. So most likely this will be a post full of incoherent thoughts and things that I'll read later and wonder at...

My room is full of toys. It's rather distracting. There are toy cars next to my alarm clock and right now I have the urgh to pick one up and zoom it across the floor while saying brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm. However my flatmates are in bed so I will restrain myself.

By the way does anyone know why pages with the corners folded over are called dog earred. They don't look anything like dog ears. And if they have to be ears why dog ears, not cat ears, or pig ears?

He he. Imagine a rooster with ears. Big human ears. Or massive floppy elephant ears.

My mind works in strange ways. On that note I shall stop writing and go off to bed and dream about zooming toy cars across my room.... I wonder what it would be like if I could shrink down to the height of my pinkie finger nail and hop in a toy car and zoom around on the floor of my room. I imagine it would be rather hazardous since my room is rather a mess. Oh right I was going to bed now...

How do you switch your brain off?

2006-10-08T17:24:00.000-07:00

Anyone else ever get the feeling that they want to turn there brain off for a little while because it just keeps chasing itself around in circles???!!!

Here's an example of what I mean:

I want to work as a social worker. I know that one of the hardest things about this for me is that I will probably care too much about my clients. But then I wonder if you can care too much and think it would be cool (for want of a better word) if I could do social work like stuff in some way that I didn't get to go home and leave it all at the end of the day - like if I actually had to live this stuff I would understand all the issues much better. But then I'm faced with the whole issue of burning out and I don't want that to happen because then I wouldn't be helping anyone at all. But then I think about the fact that the people who are actually living this stuff don't get to leave it all at the end of the day. For them it is constant - it is their life. And how can an outsider like me help them? But then I think about the fact that the reason I would be working with them as a social worker is because they can't see any way of changing their lives themselves - and so they need an outsider to help show them other options. But then I think who am I to come along and say the way you live is bad when they may not think so and try and force my way of living/my culture/my thoughts etc onto them when they might be quite happy as they are and when my culture/way of living etc is just as crap as theres just maybe in different areas . And it goes on and on and on... and it's all related, and it all goes in a big circle and I end up back where I started!!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Having said that I still want to do social work like stuff. I'm sure these questions will never fully (or even partially) be answered in my mind. And I know social work is going to be an extremely challenging career. But its still very definitely what I want to do with my life :)

Cocktail night

2006-09-30T03:08:00.000-07:00

I'm having a cocktail night for my birthday next Saturday night (7th Oct). I don't know how many people actually read this blog but if you happen to read this and you know me then you are quite welcome to come. Bring around $5 to contribute to cost of alcohol. Starting at 7.30pm at my flat. Will head into town later for anyone who wants to come. Please let me know if you intend to come (and if you will be drinking cocktails or non-alcoholic) so that I can get the right amount of stuff. Oh and feel free to invite anyone who knows me who might like to come (I will send out an email/txt people too so some people will hear other ways).
I think that's all the important details :)

Night life in Franz

2006-09-30T02:54:00.000-07:00

So on this incredibly exciting saturday night i'm sitting in front of a computer at the youth hostel in Franz Josef. We were planning to go to the pub, have a few drinks and have some fun. But it appears that the night life here is non-existent. Weird seem as there are heaps of backpackers around. so instead we resorted to coming back here to check emails and such. A bit of a let down really :(
Today we left Christchurch at about twelve after I finally got home from work. It took about six hours to drive over here. We stopped at a few places on the way and took it slow but it was definitely good to arrive when we finally did.
Tomorrow we have an early start. Off to Lake Matheson for sunrise. Then to fox glacier briefly. Back to Franz glacier to have an explore. Then we want to be leaving here by two to be back over the Arthurs Pass road before dark. it sounds tiring just writing about it. Luckily I have another day off after that.
Hope other people's saturday nights are more exciting than mine!

Things I like about my flatmates

2006-09-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

I have five flatmates. I don't care if two of them don't actually live in the flat anymore. They are still my flatmates. Here's some of the things I like about my flatmates (in no particular order):

1. They don't mind when you invade their rooms and lie on their bed/sit on their floor and just talk

2. They bake and cook yummy food

3. They give me chocolate

4. They participate in bathroom polling

5. I can be silly with them

6. They make me feel special

This list is much shorter than I expected. But that's because the things I like most about my flatmates are things that are hard to put into words. The baking and chocolate and other stuff like that isn't really that important. I like my flat because even though it's a crusty old cold student flat with falling down curtains it's my home and it's the people who live their who make it that :)

Russian Names anyone?

2006-09-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

I was bored!

Your Russian Name Is...

Doroteya Verochka Smirnov

What's Your Russian Name?

2006-08-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

Once again I have discovered that blogging is a great way to procrastinate!
I really should be writing application stuff for the course I want to do next year, but instead I'm posting on my blog for the first time in over a month. Maybe that's why I haven't posted anywhere near as much this year as last year - because I don't have any study to procrastinate from. Or maybe not. Anyway that's enough rambling about that.

So I don't really have a lot to say. Work is good :) I still can't believe how much I like waitressing. I've been working at the place I'm at now for over seven months now - and I've worked as a waitress at various places for another 4 months on top of that. And I still like it. So if I can't get a job in social work after I finish studying then at least I'll always have a job I like.

My flat is boring and lonely at the moment. Ruth and Sarah moved out and went on placement for the rest of the year :( And Esther went on holiday for two weeks :( So it's just me and Florent (the new french flatmate) at the moment. And he's not home very much when I'm home. But Esther gets back at the end of the week. And Stacia (the new Aussie flatmate) arrives in a week. So then it will be much more interesting and fun again.

That's about all in the life of Ray at the moment!

4 months later...

2006-06-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

So it appears to be 4 months since I last posted. Almost five months in fact. So here's a summary of the important parts of the last five months:

Work is good. I like waitressing. I don't like working early mornings. And I complain about getting up so early especially because it's really really really cold at 5am at the moment. But I still really like work. And I got promoted. And it is good. And my work mates are great. And people I serve are cool too (mostly!).
I like my flat. I like my flatmates more. They are fun and lovely. And they care. And then they go away and I miss them. I get lonely with only one flatmate around. I like to be around people.
I like people. Lots. I like friends. And flatmates. And people from church. And workmates. And people I don't know. People are fantastic.
I like God. God likes me. The second bit is quite a revelation to me. And I am trying to get my head around it. And to actually believe it. But it is really great. Yay for a cool God!
I like friends. Friends are wonderful. I don't like that I don't get to do stuff with friends much 'cos of silly work hours. I don't like that I haven't had much chance to do any spur of the moment silly things with others recently.
I like sleep. And sleep in's. I think I like it even more now that I very really get to sleep in. I like getting eight hours sleep in a row. I don't like that that often doesn't happen at the moment. Once again stupid work hours. I don't like split sleeping (a few hours nap in afternoon, get up for a few hours and do stuff with flatmates/friends, then back to sleep for sixish hours).

Funny how five months of life can be summed up in six paragraphs. There are lots more 'I like...' sentences than 'I don't like...' sentences. Makes me realise how much I have to thank God for :)

Weekends, marriage proposals, and other ramblings

2006-03-05T16:05:00.000-08:00

English is a confusing language. The opposite of the word 'out' is the word 'in'. So it would make sense that the opposite of the word 'without' would be 'within'. But it isn't. Instead the opposite of the word 'without' is the word 'with'. And just to make things even more confusing the word 'within' means something completely unrelated.

Anyway that was a tangent. What I was actually going to post about was the fact that I have an entire weekend off. To many people that will seem like a strange thing to be excited about but when you work shift work, and you only normally get one day off, sometime in the middle of the week, having both Saturday and Sunday off is a very unusual, and very exciting occassion! It means I can sleep in. And I can do social stuff. And I don't have to be asleep by 9.30 to get 8 hours sleep.

Last night at work one of the customers told me that if he wasn't already married he would marry me. Slightly disturbing coming from a man who is probably 70+, it certainly breaks the half + 7 rule! Of course he was only joking. Someone else told me that I was their favourite waitress! And another person said that I'd be the manager soon. Lots of warm fuzzies for one night :) Good thing too because this morning was crazily busy and the buffet wasn't set up when the first group arrived because the early starter slept through her alarm (and her cellphone was turned off). No time for warm fuzzies this morning, I was running around like a maniac!

Anyway time for me to go and have a nana nap now. I have to work again tonight and tommorrow morning - and I'm already really tired!!!

I forgot...

2006-02-07T00:17:00.000-08:00

...if anyone has a few spare hours on Monday morning/early afternoon next week me and Ruth would appreciate some help to move. Also if anyone happens to have a trailer that we could borrow for four or five hours or so that would be great. Otherwise we will hire one :)

Ruth is really awesome :)

2006-02-06T23:59:00.000-08:00

Ruth told me to call this post that. But it's true anyway. I like Ruth. She is lovely and fun and happy and other good stuff. This sounds like Ruth is writing this. But she isn't. This is actually Ray.
Maybe you can tell I don't have anything much to say. Today was my day off. And tommorrow too. It is exciting to have two days in a row off. And exciting not to have to get up at 5.30 in the morning for two whole days.
Today I did lots of packing. My room is looking quite empty. The lounge on the other hand is getting rather full of me and Ruth's boxes.
I also washed my car today. Now the windows are streaky. I will have to fix them tomorrow. It is hard to wash car windscreens when you can barely reach the middle of them anyway :)
I really don't have anything much to say. I bought some drawers the other day. I have lived without drawers for the last two years. I'm not sure how I did it. Especially this year when I had no wardrobe as well. I am quite excited about having drawers.
We still have a calendar from last year on our wall. Maybe I should take it down.
Okay enough rambling from me for now. I told you I had nothing to say.

Work is good

2006-01-16T16:25:00.000-08:00

Ignore the last post. I had a great time at work last night. Hopefully it will last :)

Work and stuff

2006-01-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I posted anything. Mainly because I'm normally a positive, cheerful person and the last few weeks have seemed to be pretty crap and I don't want to make others feel bad by complaining. Although I have been doing a fair amount of complaining to people in person anyway (I'm sorry)!

For those who don't know what is up I'm just going to say work troubles and explain briefly. Sorry about the lack of details but a number of people who read this blog know more anyway, and those who don't can ask me if they want to know :) Basically work isn't going well, which makes me feel useless and means I worry about work a lot and dread going to work, which in turn makes me feel bad because it is only a minor thing especially compared to problems so many other people have to face every day.

Today I moved to another hotel in the same chain. I don't want to comment on this because I've only had one shift and that's not enough to know if it's going to be any better or not.

So that's whats up in Ray's world at the moment. Sorry about the negativity of this post but I'm just saying it as I see it at the moment. And sorry it's all about work but work and work worries seem to be consuming my life lately so I really have nothing else to say.

Yay for jobs!!!

2005-12-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

I have a job. I am going to be waitressing at a hotel in Christchurch. I'm not sure which one in the particular chain yet but I find out on Wednesday when I have a meeting with the people who are hiring me.

I had an interview with them the other day and they are lovely. And it seems like they like me as well. So this means that I can stop being incredibly bored all day every day and earn some money so I can pay my rent and I get to spend lots of time with lots of different people. I like waitressing!

Yay for jobs :)

Job Hunting is Boring

2005-11-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

I admire people who spend so long after they finish at uni looking for a 'proper job'. I have been looking for a job for two and half weeks and I am bored out of my brain. And I'm not even looking for a 'proper job'.

I have finished my BA (as I told Ruth I am now qualified to be a sheep!). I'm going to have to do more study to do the things I want to do but I'm having a break from uni for a year or two first. So I am currently looking for a job doing waitressing (which I did last summer and enjoyed). So far I have applied for about 8 jobs, and have heard back from one place.

I've had an interview at one place and I don't think the job is what I am looking for. Too formal and kind of unfriendly feeling... so if I get offered the job I plan to turn it down. But as the days go by and I get more and more bored I keep thinking maybe I should take the job. I hear back later today or tomorrow...

Anyway applying for jobs can only take up a small proportion of time and I've been doing very little else. I think I need to find things to do in the evenings. The last two nights both my flatties have been out and having nothing else to do I watch bad tv and feel sleepy because I always do when there are no other people around.

Anyway maybe I'll go and organise Sunday School for this week (which I never do till Saturday) for lack of anything else to do :)

2005-11-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

It's been ages since I last posted so I figured I should write another post.
Exams are over, yay :) I think they all went ok.
I've been in Blenheim for the last week. I went up for my family 21st which was last Tuesday night. It was good to see all my grandparents who I haven't seen for a couple of years. And I was there for my brothers birthday too. And we celebrated my dad's birthday and my grandma's 75th, and my other grandma's 80th.
Anyway I got back to Christchurch last night and im glad to be back. Now I have to find a job before I run out of money :)
This post is incredibly boring especially considering I haven't posted at all in the last few weeks. You'd think I could find something interesting to say but I can't so I'm going to go.

Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows

2005-10-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ok well actually only sunshine but I am happy :)

This weekend was the best weekend I've had in a long time. I'm actually completely serious when I say I'd forgotten what it was like to have a weekend where I could just hang out with friends and not feel like I should be doing any work.

And now it is study week and I actually feel like I'm ready to start studying. Which is a big change from Friday lunchtime when I had just finished a test, and had handed in two completed assignments, the last of the 5 due in the last two weeks of term, and was feeling dead and totally unmotivated.

I went to Hanmer from Friday night till Saturday with some friends from church and had a great time relaxing and just hanging out with friends. Yay for friends, they are so cool :) Then yesterday I went to church in the morning, and then spent the rest of the day hanging out with friends, went to church again last night, then hung out with friends some more.

I really think that this weekend was possibly the best weekend I have ever had. I love just hanging out with friends, especially when I know I don't have anything else that I should be doing. People are my favourite.

And I'm excited about my future. There's so many things I want to do both short-term and long-term, and I still don't know how I'm going to do most of them but right now it doesn't seem to matter. I feel like I'm ready to try following God the way I should again. I know I'm going to stuff up but to be honest right now I don't care.

I am sunburnt which means summer is here, and it seems that I have reached summer in my life as well. Okay so not everything is perfect, in fact some things are far from it but I don't really care right now. I believe they call this feeling contentment...

I am sick of me!

2005-10-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

okay so this post is really nothing like what the title makes it sound like. what I actually mean is I am bored of writing about me. I have a 4000 word essay due next week and the topic of the essay is writing about me. my adult development to be more specific. in fact my adult identity development and whether it lines up with the theory i chose to talk about. the next bit i have to write is where i get to make predictions about my future...How about this?

i will ride off into the sunset on a white horse with my handsome prince charming and live happily ever after

or

i will grow up and be a mad old women with 552 cats and will live in a house all by myself with 23 bathrooms

or how about this one

i will go absolutely bonkers because i wrote an essay about my life and it drove me mad and i never recovered

i have a brain
it is going insane
too much work to do
my mind has turned to goo
uni is just about over
only one essay, one lab report, one assignment, one test, and three exams to go

right i must go back to work

I am legally grown up :)

2005-09-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

I am 21 now, which means that I am legally an adult. That does not mean that I'm going to act like a grown up though. I still like to play and do fun silly things (like that will ever change!)
Anyway my actual birthday was yesterday. Ruth stuck newspaper over my door in the morning but I got up while she was in the shower so she missed seeing me walk through it. She gave me some cool desk stuff. Yay for desk stuff :) Michelle gave some bath stuff including a foot shaped pumice thing with a foot brush thing on the back. She laughed at me because I got excited about the pumice! Pumice is very exciting. Michelle made me a cake too. I like cake. I like my flatmates too, they are very cool :) Thanks guys for making me feel special.
I went to uni like normal after that, except I came home earlier than normal. I got exciting birthday mail!!! A card from my brother, and one from two of my friends in Auckland. They made me a collage of silly photos of me :) It will be at my party on Saturday for anyone who wants to see. I also got a card from my grandparents which arrived on Tuesday.
My sister came round and gave me a present from her and my brother, and a card. I like my sister. She likes to be silly like me which makes for lots of fun when we get together. She took me out for a birthday hot chocolate.
Anyways that was my birthday. Yay for cool people who make me feel special. I like you all lots. People are cool :)
Anyways me and my flatmates are still curious about the mysterious but lovely giver of groceries... (see Mrs Yang's blog). If you happen to be reading this thankyou very muchly :)

My new pet

2005-09-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

I have joined in on the recent trend of adopting a pet.

This is my pink tiger called Spotty

A boring post about nothing in particular

2005-09-14T21:34:00.001-07:00

I got to dress up twice in the past weekend. I like to dress up! It's so much fun.
First I got to dress up as a 1940s girl in my pretty dress. Then for a complete change I dressed up as a pirate for church on Sunday morning.
The Sunday school kids thought it was brilliant that there teacher was a pirate. I have two new boys in my class who are twins. They are the cutest, funniest kids! They have just turned 3, and they don't really know what Sunday school is all about yet so they are still pretty shy- except to each other.
Anyway onto another topic. I am doing a paper this semester called violence in society. It's really interesting, but pretty full on as well. I'm researching for an essay for it at the moment. The topic I'm doing is about Maori victims of domestic abuse, which is again really interesting but not particularly pleasant to read about. Especially the case studies.
I talked to my parents tonight. My conversations with them are pretty mundane and repetitive.
"Hello"
"Hi, It's Rachel"
"How are you?"
"I'm pretty good, what about you?"
"I'm good, What have you been doing?"
"Uni, hanging out with friends, {insert anything else important here}."
"Oh, just the usual then."
"Yep, what have you been up to?"
"Work, golf, {insert some sort of social event here}."
"Sounds good."
"Do you want to talk to Dad?"
"Sure"
"Hi"
"Hi"
Repeat above conversation with my dad instead of my mum.
"I think that's all our news, Bye."
"Ok, Bye."
All up that takes about 5 minutes, sometimes less.
Well I'm going to go now because I'm probably boring everyone since I really have nothing to say (incase you hadn't worked that out already).

Experiment

2005-09-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

I need to do an experiment on at least 10 people by Friday, and I'm looking for people who would be happy to do this. It's not hard, or scary, or anything negative like that.
So if you have some spare time and want to help me out then let me know somehow what time within the following time periods suits best:

Tuesday 12-4pm
Wednesday 12-4pm
Thursday 3-5pm

The experiment can be done anywhere, so if uni doesn't suit then you can make another place instead :)

In response to Lana's comment

2005-09-02T16:47:00.000-07:00

Here's what I have to say about Lana's comment on my last post:

Like she said I like people, and I much prefer being with other people to being alone. Basically I'm an extrovert. However I do have a natural tendency to be quiet. I know this seems like a contradiction so I will now attempt to explain what I mean.
My personality psychology textbook from last year explains it quite well so I will paraphrase what it says. In general shy people are not introverts. The psychological term for shyness is social anxiety, meaning that shy people are scared of being evaluated negatively by other people. They want to have friends and spend lots of time with other people, but their fear of not being liked leads to them avoiding spending time with other people, and being quiet and rather inconspicuous when they do.
I used to be incredibly shy. I would pretty much never say anything to anyone. I was always worried that I'd said the wrong thing when I did say something, that people didn't like me or thought I was stupid. I'm no way near as shy as I used to be now. I have come to like the person I am, and I know that other people like me too. I do however still tend to be a quiet person at times.
I like to spend time with people but I have a tendency to wait until other people organise something before I do. I'm trying to work on this because obviously if I want to be invited to things I have to invite others to things too, however it's not easy to overcome a lifetime of being scared that other people won't want to do stuff with me.
Lana said that she sees me as being on the outside of the group. This may be true at times, although it's always a difficult thing to judge, but I see this as being my fault rather than anyone elses. Thanks for your concern Lana, I appreciate it, but I think the reason I don't always seem to get much 'attention' is because of me not anyone else.

I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts on that. I hope it makes sense :)

Some thoughts :)

2005-09-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

I've been road tripping the last few days with Lana. We drove up to Blenheim, across to Nelson, to Golden Bay and Farewell Spit and back, and then over the Lewis Pass back to Christchurch. All in three and a half days. Lots of fun and craziness.

Heres some of the stupid/crazy/funny things that happened over the three and a half days:

1) My $2.50 sunglasses cracked because the sun was too hot for them!!!
2) Having no fork/spoon, etc. when eating chinese food I used half of my broken sunglasses as a spoon things (the lens was the spoon bit, and the bit that goes behind your ear the handle). It worked quite well.
3) I hit myself in the head with the carseat.
4) I sung songs in silly voices.
5) I can't remember anything else but there's sure to be more. Ask Lana.

Here's some things I discovered/rediscovered/thought about on/after the trip:

1) I like my friends a lot and I missed them although I was only gone a little while. It was good spending time with Lana but I've spent lots of time with her these holidays and much less time with other people and I'm looking forward to hopefully seeing other people in the next few days. It was kind of different for me to have four days where I only really saw two other people (Lana and Jazz) and while I like them both lots it showed me how much I really like having lots of people around.

2) My parents (who we stayed a night with in Blenheim) have very different views on some important things, and their lfestyle is different from anything I ever want. Basically I have made my own choices in life and am my own person. This is all good, but the bit that is not good is that my parents want me to be something different and when I see them I tend to do and say some things they won't like just to annoy them. Bad Ray :(

3) We stayed with Jazz's family in Nelson for two nights. I really liked Jazz's family. They appeared to be close, and to really care about each other. And they weren't afraid to show it. It's the first time I've stayed with a Christian family, and the difference between them and my family the night before was quite obvious. If/when I have a family I would like it to be something like this.

4) Now that I'm back in Christchurch and my flatmates are both away I'm bored 'cos I want other people around. I went into uni today for a meeting for a group project and it was really good to see some other people. It really doesn't take me long to feel lonely when no one else is home. Ruth gets back tonight and I'm looking forward to it a lot, even though it's less than 24 hours since I got back myself.

5) I was reading from Luke last night, and this morning. I like how Luke makes it so clear how much Jesus cares about the people that no-one else wants anything to do with. These are the people I want to work with (eg. at-risk youth, abuse victims and perpetrators, disabled people). Obviously this isn't an easy area to work in and I've been thinking about how I'd relate to these people. It's all good to ask how Jesus would relate to them, but obviously I'm going to make mistakes and not relate to them in the best ways some times.

I think I'll stop there for now. There's more stuff I could say but I feel like I'm rambling on already. I'm going to go and enjoy the last of the sunny day :)

People

2005-08-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

I really like people. I like short people, tall people, and the ones in between. Blond hair, brown hair, red hair, blue hair. Curly hair, straight hair. Short hair, long hair. Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes. People are really cool :)
I like personalities too. I like the fact that every person is different, and yet we are still all people, and therefore are still essentially the same in many ways. I like that everyone has different experiences, and that even the experiences we do share are perceived in a different way for each person.
What I don't like is when I dismiss people, or judge them when I don't know much about them. And yet I still do this all the time. I don't like that I find it so easy to blame something someone else does on them, whereas I'll blame things that I do on the situation. I don't like the way that when I honestly look at myself I see how much I fail at being the person I want to be.
I really like people. Each one is amazing, unique, special, and precious. So why is it that I don't show this in my actions? Why is it that when I try my hardest to be the best person I can possibly be, when I ask God to help me to be better, when I make an effort to really care about and love people for who they are, I seem to end up further back from where I started?

Procrastination is a great motivator :)

2005-08-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

Look at this! Two posts within 24 hours. This is a very definite change from the gap between my last post.
And all because of procrastination. Who said procrastination is not motivating. It just motivates you to do the wrong things that's all.
Anyway I'm slowly working my way through the essay that is due tomorrow. And I think it is beginning to make sense, but maybe I shouldn't say that because whenever I think that words seems to jump around in the computer and I open my essay again and I think huh???
Well I better go back to not procrastinating now. Somebody better tell me if anything interesting/important (like pigs or other farm animals flying) happens today or tomorrow 'cos I'm going to be holed up at uni.

Time for some silliness :)

2005-08-14T01:38:00.000-07:00

It's two weeks since I've posted for the sole reason that I have been having fun playing with my friends. However now that I have an essay due on Tuesday, an assignment due on Wednesday, and a research article summary for a group project to do by tomorrow I find the need to procrastinate.

So, I believe it is time for an update on the silliness of the last two weeks. The problem is that I do not recall the last two weeks involving much silliness. This trend is rather disturbing, and I feel the need to remedy it...
So if anyone would like to join my in some extreme silliness let me know. Then sometime after Wednesday when I have got rid of my last assessment for a while I will let the pent up silliness loose!

Hehehe. Watch out world here I come!

What shall I post about today?

2005-07-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

I was informed today that I should make another post by a person who started up a blog after me and has already posted 3 times. No prizes for guessing who...
Anyway I really don't have anything much to post about so be prepared for some silliness.
I sent an email to a friend the other day referring to the exploitation of walruses (I really did!!!). You see in my school drama class in third form we had to create our own character and do various scenes interacting with other peoples characters, and other such things. One of the exercises in developing our character was to draw the door of their house. Some of my friends vandalised my picture (does it count as vandalism when they have permission?) with numerous flowers and peace signs, so my character was established as a hippy going by the name of sunbeam moonshine or something similar.
Now a hippy needs something to protest about, so I decided that I would protest against a new (and imaginary) icecream product named walrus pops. The problem with this new product was of course that it exploited walruses.
This is just one of many stories from the store of Ray's silly memories, and I'm sure many more will come to the surface in the future.
As for some silliness that occurred this week there is sadly very little that I can remember, although my wonderful flatmates may be able to remedy my forgetfulness. The best I can come up with is to say that I fell down the stairs today, and went for a bit of a slide on my bottom. Ouch! I promise to try and be sillier this coming week, I'm sure it must be time for some truely majestic act of silliness.

My very first post

2005-07-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Ruth would like to say that she has first comment glory because she would have first comment if she wasn't going to bed right now.
Now for what I would like to say... I have finally after many months of consideration joined the world of blogging. And what is the reason for my eventual decision?
Well, it's not a boy, it's not because I think people need to be enlightened by my (non-existent) brilliant insights into life, and it's not because I feel the need to spread my silliness although I do like to be silly on many occassions.
The reason is in fact quite simply because I have been attempting to get to know people in my group of friends better over the last year or so, and have been rather unsuccessful. In fact I (and probably other people too) consider myself to be on the outside of a lot of what is happening. So I'm hoping that having this blog will keep me in the loop a little more.